High Marriage Expenses: Dr. Victor Falack Calls For Reduction Of Bride Price In Kaka Land

A renowned clergy and researcher Dr. Victor Falack, has called on Kaka community leaders and stakeholders to address the growing financial burden caused by high bride prices and the practice of furnishing the groom's house. 

In an open letter, Dr. Falack urged for a drastic reduction in the bride price, stressing that current customs were hindering marriage prospects and causing unnecessary hardship for families.

Dr. Falack who is the Dan Iya Mambilla in the Sardauna First Class Traditional Council noted that the rising cost of goods and services has led to a similar increase in the cost of bride prices, making it increasingly difficult for young men to afford to marry. 

He warned that if this trend continues, many unmarried daughters of the Kaka community might struggle to find husbands, as the financial barriers would make marriage unattainable for many young men.

"The cost of bride price should not be tied to the fluctuating cost of goods and services in the market. If this continues, we risk creating a situation where our daughters will have no husbands to marry because the financial burden on our sons is too high," Dr. Falack wrote.

In response to this growing concern, Dr. Falackproposed that the bride price for Kaka grooms marrying Kaka daughters be fixed at 20,000 Naira. He recommended that this amount remain unchanged, even in the face of inflation, to help reduce the financial strain on families and encourage more young people to marry.

He also highlighted the need for equitable treatment within the community: "For those parents who think 20,000 Naira is too small, they must also remember that their sons will marry daughters from other families at the same price. This ensures fairness—your daughter is married for 20,000 Naira, and your son marries someone else's daughter for the same amount."

Dr. Falack pointed out that the bride price is not a source of wealth and should not be seen as such. He urged parents to view marriage as a relationship rather than a transaction, noting that a lower bride price would alleviate some of the financial pressures faced by families, particularly for unmarried women who may be advancing in age.

Dr. Falack also recommended that the 20,000 Naira bride price be exclusive to Kaka grooms, with non-Kaka grooms required to pay the standard bride price prescribed by the community's cultural norms. This distinction, he argued, would help preserve Kaka traditions while maintaining fairness for non-Kaka spouses.

In his letter, Dr. Falack also expressed his concerns about the growing practice within the Kaka community where the bride's parents are expected to furnish the groom's house. He condemned this as a "strange" and burdensome practice that has placed significant financial strain on families, often forcing them into debt or delaying weddings.

"The bride's parents are required to buy household items for the groom's home—things like mattresses, refrigerators, televisions, and kitchen utensils. This is a practice that must be stopped," Dr. Falack said, emphasizing that this custom is not a part of Kaka culture. He described the situation as one that brings untold hardship to many families, particularly those with limited financial resources.

"This practice is not only financially draining but has also made a mockery of our cultural values. We must put an end to this unwanted financial burden. Let us return to the simplicity of our traditions," he urged.

Read full open letter on below:

MY CONCERNS ABOUT THE KAKA CULTURE, UNITY, DEVELOPMENT AND POLITICS  

 

With honour and utmost respect, I bring you greetings and peace. 

I write to you in four capacities. Firstly, as a kaka son; secondly, as the Dan Iya Mambilla (a King Maker in the Sardauna First Class Traditional Council); thirdly, as a renowned clergy; and fourthly, as an Academician & Researcher. 

I have chosen to address this letter to you because of the central position you occupy, your role and the influence you command. 

 

I have been highly constrained in getting a breakthrough on the matters raised herein and therefore, resorted to this platform. Every attempt to get the attention of our stakeholders on the subject matter failed. Some simply told me to present my concerns at the Kaka Summit but convening the summit has failed severally. Secondly, I have noticed over the years that our interest has been political only at the detriment of our culture and development. It is very difficult for us to gather for a summit to discuss our future but very easy to gather for partisan politics.  

Below are my concerns in respect of the subject matter.   

1. HIGH COST OF BRIDE PRICE PAYABLE BY KAKA GROOMS

Because of the rising cost of goods and services in the market, our cost of bride has taken a similar trend and this has not been helpful to our unmarried daughters. The cost of bride price should not be likened to the cost of goods and services in the market else, in the near future, our daughters will not find husbands to marry because our sons will not have the required money to marry them. I wish to recommend that the bride price for any kaka son marrying any kaka daughter be pegged twenty thousand naira (N20,000) as the final bride price. The N20,000 shall be fixed and such amount shall not be varied by inflation. 

 

Note the following please: 

a) For those parents who think that the N20,000 is too small, they must also be reminded that their sons shall also marry from other families at N20,000. By implication, you have nothing to lose because you gave out your daughter at N20,000and married someone's daughter for your son at N20,000 also. 

b) Parents must note that bride price does not make one rich neither is it the source of prosperity. 

c) Parents, please, let us help our sons and daughters to get married by taking off the financial impediment of bride price that delays marriage. We must understand that marriage is a relationship not a market.   

d)  The low cost of bride price will encourage a lot of our sons to present themselves for marriage; thereby, taking off the pressure on some of our unmarried daughters who are gradually advancing in age.

 

2. COST OF BRIDE PRICE PAYABLE BY NON-KAKA GROOMS

The Twenty Thousand Naira (N20,000) payable by Kaka grooms shall NOT be applicable to non-Kaka grooms. Other grooms that are not Kaka by tribe shall pay the documented unified standard bride price as prescribed by our culture. 

 

3. THE RESPONSIBILITY OF FURNISHING THE GROOM'S HOUSE

A strange marital culture has suddenly crept or sneaked into our culture. This strange culture is the responsibility that is put on the bride's parents to furnish their daughter's new home. By this strange culture, the bride's parents are mandated to furnish the house of their son in-law (the groom) by buying household items such as bed, mattress and beddings, fridge, television, satellite decoder, set of couching chairs, interior decorations, kitchen utensils, etc. This must be stopped to save all parents from any unwanted financial burden. 

I have made some findings from some tribes that practice this culture of furnishing the groom's house. I was told that the money for the furnishing is provided by the groom to the bride. The bride uses the money from the groom to buy those household items that will accompany her to her new home. Unfortunately, we copied wrongly and struggling to paste what we copied.  

 

This strange culture has the following implications:

a) The bride's parents collect a little amount as bride price but eventually end up spending at least five times of the bride price to furnish the groom's house. Does this make common sense? Absolutely no! 

b) It is now becoming a popular joke among many that Kaka parents marry husbands for their daughters. It goes further to state that if one marries a kaka lady, his bride price will be refunded to him with multiple gains.

c) This strange culture has brought a lot of financial burden on the bride's parents and has forced some into borrowing or postponing their wedding dates. 

This strange culture has brought a lot of untold hardship on some poor parents. It is unwanted, unwelcomed and therefore, must be stopped because such practice is not part of our culture. 

4. TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE, SEND FORTH AND WEDDING RESPONSIBILITIES 

God simplified marriage for us but we complicated it. Once the bride price is paid, the bride and groom are prayed for immediately by the clergy at home (not in church) and are released into their new homes. That is simple for anyone who intends to marry. Nowadays, it is different. After the payment of bride price, three ceremonial dates commonly show up and each comes with huge financial responsibilities. These three ceremonies are traditional marriage, send forth party and church wedding. Some marriages are delayed longer than necessary because the intended couples and parents alike run around preparing for wedding and other ceremonies instead of preparing the marriage. 

Below is my take on this matter:

a) Traditional marriage should be low key and should be done on the same day the bride price is paid (not on a separate future date). 

b) The bride, groom and their friends shall wear the Kaka traditional attire on the day of the traditional marriage. This will encourage the use and advertisement of our traditional attire and culture at last. 

c) Expensive send forth ceremony for the less privileged should be discouraged or should be low key. Where the family cannot afford it, it should be totally cancelled. Where it is cancelled, the nuclear family can have a send forth dinner with their daughter and hold a family prayer session for her without inviting a third party outside the nuclear family. This will help to take off any financial pressure on the bride's parents.  

d) Wedding is not a criterion for marriage. Parents who cannot afford the cost of wedding should avoid it. Your pastor can carry out the marital prayer for your children at home and release the same blessing they would have received if the prayer were to be carried out in the church.  

e) To a lot of couples and some parents, the motivation for wedding is fund raising. This must be totally discouraged. Wedding is not a money-making venture.

There is no law anywhere that mandates one to carry out traditional marriage, send forth party and wedding before he or she is declared married. We imported all these difficulties upon ourselves and made them a law which we are struggling to keep. Unnecessary financial burdens must be taken off any parent in the name of marriage. 

5. UNIFIED BRIDE PRICE 

The Kaka tribe has over forty dialects. Each dialect has its list of bride price varying slightly from the other. For the ease of usage and reference, I wish to strongly recommend that these various lists be unified into one. Having a uniform list of bride price for all the dialects will be easy to understand, reference and operate. 

 

6. UNIFORMITY OF THE KAKA TRADITIONAL ATTIRE

Shortly after launching the Kaka traditional attire about nine years ago, several versions of the attire began to surface. Currently, we have different colours of our attire worn by different persons. This development is unwelcoming and must be discouraged. It is an indicator that we do not have a leadership. Everyone cannot wake to do what he or she deems fit without reference to the standard set by our fathers and elders. The council of elders across all the dialects collectively approved the logo and colour of our traditional attire. Therefore, let us adhere to it. 

On this note, I wish to state the following:

a) I and Hon. Esther Yenda received the logo and design of our attire from the Chairman of Elders Forum (Late Hon. Pa James Nzalak) when it was approved by the council of elders. It was forwarded to us for printing. I printed the first set of attire, even though the printer deviated from some specifications.

b) The approved colour of our traditional attire is BLACK with white, green and yellow spotted designs. Other colours outside these should be rejected. 

• The black colour symbolizes our proud black heritage; power and influence.     

• The white colour symbolizes our purity, calmness and simplicity. We are known for orderliness, simplicity and peaceful coexistence.  

• The green colour symbolizes our agricultural business and prosperity. Our people are predominantly crop farmers and we are known to be industrious and prosperous. 

• The yellow colour symbolizes our royalty, enlightenment and wisdom. We are highly enlightened and were not conquered nor enslaved. 

c) No one should reprint the traditional attire without the approval of a kaka paramount ruler or member of the traditional council serving in any government approved chiefdom.   

d) Let us discourage the use of different uniforms worn by different Kaka dialects. Virtually all the dialects have resorted to producing their own community uniforms different from the Kaka attire. This is a very bad development because it is setting us backward in our efforts to promote our Kaka cultural attire. Our culture attire is beyond clothing but a symbol of our unity. 

e) An Album that displays the various dress codes for various categories of persons, including our traditional chiefs and members of their council is available.  

 

7. ORDER OF TRADITIONAL WEDDING 

We do not have a standard order of procedure for traditional marriage. The one that exists vary from one dialect to the order while other dialects do not even have one. Let us develop a unified standard procedure for our traditional marriage that will be applicable across Kaka dialects and communities. A committee can be set up with members drawn from across all the dialects to handle this responsibility. 

 

8. THE NEED FOR A DOCUMENTED CULTURE 

There is no documentation of our culture and tradition. Our children that are growing up, particular in the towns and cities will soon lose touch of their culture and tradition. A committee of nobles should be set up to handle this responsibility.

 

9. THE NEED TO DOCUMENT OUR HISTORY 

We do not have a comprehensive history compendium that captures our origin, migration and development. Though, there are several articles to that effect but we do not have a standard compendium or book that encompasses all the details. My findings show that over 95% of our children and youths and over 60% of our adults do not know our history. What a misery! Until one understands his or her history, such one will soon pay the expensive price of ignorance. 

I wish to recommend that our history be documented and every literate Kaka should have a copy in his or her home. We are highly blessed with academicians and academic researchers. At one point, I offered to sponsor the documentation of our history but the custodians of such knowledge were not forthcoming. I wish to recommend that our political and business stakeholders should sponsor this project with immediate effect.  

 

10. SOURCES OF REVENUE FOR OUR TRADITIONAL COUNCILS 

Our traditional institution should be the custodian of our traditional attire and bride price booklet. Any income accruing from the sales of this items should belong to the traditional institutions. Anyone selling these items shall do so with the approval of the traditional institution and in partnership with same for the purpose of profit sharing.  

 

11. RE-ALIGNING UNGODLY TRADITIONAL PRACTICES 

There are certain traditional practices that do no align with Godly religious practices. It has been very difficult to discourage our people from stopping such practices. I wish to suggest that such practices be realigned to suit Godly religious practices. While the names of such events remain, the real practice behind such culture is redefined to align with Godly practices. 

 

For example, the traditional practice called 'bum'can be realigned to mean any or all of the following:

• Reconciliation and Forgiveness Service.

• Memorial Service for the resurrection of Jesus.

• Remembrance Service for the death of Jesus.

While we officially adopt the name 'bum' instead of attempting to cancel it, the practice behind it should reflect Godly virtues. 

 

12. THE FADING TREND OF OUR LANGUAGE AND CULTURE IN OUR CHILDREN

A lot of our children that are born in outside our towns and villages do not understand the Kaka language. They speak English and Hausa languages fluently but cannot understand nor speak their mother tongue, the Kaka language.  This is a disturbing trend that needs urgent attention. Some tribes have gone into extinction for same reason. 

 

To this end, I wish to recommend thus:

a) That parents should culture the habit of communicating with their children in Kaka language.

b) Parents should find time to teach their children the Kaka language and culture.

c) Parents should insist on the Kaka dialect as the lingua franca in their homes. The children can learn English language in their schools and Hausa language within the neighbourhood but the mother tongue at home.  

d) Parents that have the Kaka Bible in their homes should use them for daily devotion. 

 

13. THE NEED FOR KAKA CENTER IN JALINGO

We need a Kaka center in Jalingo (the state capital) where we can promote our culture through several cultural activities and items. Kaka Youth Development Association (KYDA) has started one. Let us support that project financially. 

 

14. KAKA SUMMIT AND THE NEED FOR UNITY

Kaka Summit is the congress that assembles or gathers the entire Kaka people across the country irrespective of state of residence, Local Government area or political divide. At this summit, critical decisions that affect the entire Kaka race are taken. Elections into Socio-Cultural and Socio-Political offices are also held at this summit.  Unfortunately, the Summit was last held in 2011 in Kusuku. The Summit is usually held in November/December every year in Kusuku. The failure to hold the summit is attributed to several reasons ranging from lack of finance to fund the summit, noncommitment of our elders, laxity and noncommitment of our cultural and political leaders, the demise of the national cultural leader and the deliberate setbacks caused by certain persons who are not interested in the unity of the Kaka people.  

To this end, I wish to submit thus:

a) That a date be fixed by the stakeholders to resume the annual summit. 

b) Petitioning one another for some unfounded and baseless reasons must stop.

c) We should institute programs and policy guidelines that will strengthen our unity. 

15. THE KAKA PROJECT 

What is our long-term project? What do we seek to achieve 20 years, 50 years or 100 years from now.No nation develops without a developmental plan. What do we want now and where do we want to be in the near and far future? The journey begins today with a strategic master plan on how to arrive there. Let's develop one today.

16. HOLDING OUR POLITICAL LEADERS ACCOUNTABLE 

It is not enough to hold several political meetings before elections and nearly none after the elections. Let us learn how to hold our political leaders accountable for all the promises they make to us before every election season. Our elected and appointed political leaders are responsible to us, the Kaka people. Political leaders who are not responsible and accountable to the electorates are not fit to lead them. Holding any political office is not about self but the people. I must caution here that being responsible and accountable to the people does not mean being disrespectful and rebellious to our political leaders. Our political leaders must be given the utmost respect they deserve. 

RECOMMENDATIONS AND CONCLUSION 

a) Let us summon a summit to adopt the recommended stated in this letter. 

b) The intended summit should be sponsored by our political leaders and supported by the business class. 

c) If the summit is not feasible, the Council of elders, traditional institution, clergies, political class, dialect/community leaders, and leadership of socio-cultural organizations can meet to discuss the proffered recommendations.  

 

d) If some stakeholders are not willing, those willing and available can constitute themselves into a workable committee. 

e) Where there is no consensus among the various dialects, the group of dialects that consent to the proposal can adopt same for their respective dialects.

f) Our lawyers, academicians, clergies and elders should be given Terms of Reference to document our history, unwritten culture and tradition.  

g) Persons who write baseless, unfounded and defamatory petitions against others should be taken to court to face the wrath of the law. Several reconciliations have been made in the past to deal with such matter but after a while, it will resurface again and again. Impunity subsists because infractions, violations and infringements are not punished.  

Let us imbibe the spirit of brotherhood; let us support each other and let the weak strengthen the poor. Together we can do more and become better. 

This letter is dated 13th October, 2024 (i.e., my birthday). This letter is my birthday gift to all the Kaka progressives who care about the progress of the Kaka nation.  

Thank you for being a part of this progressive project.  

 

DR. VICTOR FALACK, FCA; PhD.

(Concerned Kaka Stakeholder)